de punts i principis d'incertesa...

El principi d'incertesa de Heisenberg deia que no és possible determinar alhora la posició i la velocitat exacta d'un cos. No, no vaig a parlar de teories quàntiques. Parlaré del moment de posar un altre punt i principi a la meua vida. En aquest cas, un principi d'incertesa.

Incertesa per no saber en quin punt estic exactament.
Incertesa per no saber amb quina velocitat em moc.
Incertesa per no saber on aniré ni com ho faré.
Incertesa per no saber qui m'acompanyarà.
Incertesa, també, per no saber controlar les meues reaccions.
Incertesa per no voler prendre decisions equivocades.
Incertesa per no caminar amb pas ferm.
Incertesa per recordar massa el passat.
Incertesa per intentar només viure el present.
Incertesa per no voler pensar en el futur.


No només he de posar punt final a l'Erasmus. Com em passà l'estiu passat, tinc por de posar punt a la vida d'estudianta. Punt final a la Llicenciatura en Química. I les preguntes ressonen: i ara? què faig amb la meua vida? Aquest principi d'incertesa m'aterrava. Però realment no són els estudis el que em preocupa; per sort, aquest any m'ha servit per aclarir-me les idees i si alguna cosa he tret en clar és que no vaig a abandonar la meua vida a la UVEG tan prompte.


El principi d'incertesa a què hem referia el provoca haver de tornar a casa. És complicat, potser molt més complicat que prendre la decisió de fugir durant un any. Quan t'exilies (erasmusment parlant), sembla que obrigues un parèntesi on viuràs tu mateixa, sense restriccions familiars ni infuències de les amistats. Vius per tu i per a tu, com si tot allò que has viscut durant anys, aquelles cases i pisos, aquells carrers per on has caminat tantes vegades i que tant han influit en la teua manera de ser i comportar-te deixaren d'importar. Dins aquest parèntesi no hi ha res més que tu, i el teu nou món. Nou país, nou idioma, nova gent... Mai he volgut oblidar o deixar enrere el món fóra del parèntesi, tot i que m'invaïa de nostàlgia i enyorança. Però durant aquest temps, he oblidat que aquell món no formava part del parèntesi, i que allí, la vida continuava.


Potser per això és tan complicat tornar. No sé què hem trobaré, ni com m'ho trobaré. Potser tot continue igual, però serà diferent. Un any, aquest any, t'ajuda a veure les coses des d'una altra perspectiva. T'adones de la importància dels xicotets detalls que passaven desapercebuts i, en desaparéixer et fan reflexionar sobre la necessitat de lluitar per certes coses i certes relacions. No sé si seré capaç de reprendre la meua vida o hauré de posar un nou principi. Hauré de readaptar-me a viure en aquella terra, plena d'històries, records i sentiments.


I és aquesta incertesa de no saber com tornar allò que realment m'aterra. Però tal vegada siga un bon principi. Un principi d'incertesa...


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too long time in the Netherlands...

Després de 9 mesos a aquest país, t'adones que compleixes totes i cadascuna de les sentències que afirma el: You know you've been in the Netherlands for too long when...

1) You have a bike.
2) You even know how to brake using retropedaling.
3) Walking from your faculty to the cafeteria has become unimaginable. You take your bike, even if it's for 50 meters.
4) Eating 7 slides of bread for lunch doesn't scare you anymore.
5) By the way, you stopped eating warm luch. You chust eat bread.
6) You know what a "kroket" is, and you learned to avoid the orange ones.
7) It doesn't surprise you anymore to eat at 18.30h.
8) You drink beer.
9) You got used to trance and electro music.
10) You don't cheat on the train, because controllers are everywhere!
11) You used to use cash all the time, but now you have a pin card.
12) You think ducks are cute.
13) As soon as the sun pops out, you make a barbecue, even if it's 10ºC outside.
14) You think 15ºC is warm.
15) You know winter stops in May, and not March as everywhere else.
16) You don't remember what a mountain looks like.
17) You still don't know how to speak Dutch. But your English has imporved.
18) You know what Surinam is. And where it is.
19) You never go out without you bike ligths.
20) You think butter in a bottle is normal.
21) You go to Leiden on saturday.
22) You've been to a flower park, and thought it was cool.
23) You're ok with having only one flavour of ice cream (the white ones).
24) You don't even bother to ask "do you speak English?", you just speak English right away.
26) You have finally accepted the fact that Gouda is cheese.
27) Paying 6€ for a meal in the cafeteria seems normal.
28) You know how to repair a bike.
29) You eat potatoes at least once a day.
30) You always check the weather before leaving home.
31) You know what it is being late and having to wait for a boat to cross the bridge.
32) You can drink milk at any time of the day.
33) Sometimes, you only drink milk as lunch.
34) You have tried "karnemelk" alt least once.
35) You start liking "dropjes".
36) For you something sweet means "stroopwafels".
37) Spring means flowers blooming and construction sites opeining up all over the place.
38) Being tall gets a new meaning.
39) Blonde is back to being a hair-color, not a concept.
40) You have 4 seasons in one day.
41) You think that paying to use the toilets is normal.
42) You know that "kapsalon" is not a typical turkisch dish, but a hairdresser.
43) You start to think that the strange position of the hole in the WC is not that disgusting.
44) You find it easier to find a good joint that a good coffee.
45) You have the AH bonus card.
46) Your windows have no curtains, and you don't care.
47) If your windows have coutains, you don't use them, and just don't care who might be looking at you.
48) For you, light rain is not rain.
49) Professors write a "well done" comment in you assignment and still grade you with a 6.
50) You can dring beer in the cinema (good).
51) 10ºC is warm enough to wear a short or mini skirt.
52) You can ride your bike in the rain, wind and even snow.
53) Guys are very cute.
54) You can ride your bike wearing skirt, a suit or even high heels.
55) When you start having strong opinion even if you vaguely know the topic.
56) When you wash the dishes with soap without rincing them.
57) "Alstublieft" and "Dank u wel" are the only dutch words you know.
58) You aren't surprised anymore that the disco closes at 4 (but it still pisses you off).
59) You learn to bike withous using your hands on the handle.
60) You go to the market and you only buy the stuffs that fit un your bike.
61) Riding a bike and drinking beer, coffee, smoking, eating at the same time is not a problem any more.
62) You reformulate the saying "if you drink, don't drive" by "if you drink, don't ride". 


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